This
post is, in its genesis a response to something a friend posted on Facebook. In her post she had commented to the effect
that a person’s actions, in this case having slept with every woman within 100
miles, does not speak to that person’s character. I vehemently disagree, not just from the
perspective of a religious viewpoint but that this is a clear indication of
character from any perspective and that there is indeed good reasonable secular
reasoning to conduct self restraint. My friend in fact asked me for an answer to this for people who do not ‘believe’, and I hope that this at least sheds some light on the matter. In
no way, shape or form do I argue that sexual intercourse should be abstained altogether,
rather that impulses should be curtailed and that failure to do so reveals a
lot about personal character.
post is, in its genesis a response to something a friend posted on Facebook. In her post she had commented to the effect
that a person’s actions, in this case having slept with every woman within 100
miles, does not speak to that person’s character. I vehemently disagree, not just from the
perspective of a religious viewpoint but that this is a clear indication of
character from any perspective and that there is indeed good reasonable secular
reasoning to conduct self restraint. My friend in fact asked me for an answer to this for people who do not ‘believe’, and I hope that this at least sheds some light on the matter. In
no way, shape or form do I argue that sexual intercourse should be abstained altogether,
rather that impulses should be curtailed and that failure to do so reveals a
lot about personal character.
This post does not concern judgment, it merely concerns recognition of character traits and the argument that we can see character in actions of a sexual nature. I will aim to discuss judgment in a later post where I can devote more time and thought to it. Here I only aim to explain why the act of sexual promiscuity can explain negative character traits. I have a feeling I will have to write a great deal about this, and in today’s post I will rely almost entirely on C.S. Lewis’s MereChristianity and specifically on the chapter within entitled Sexual Morality. I make no argument that we should be limited to one partner, nor even to the confines of marriage, that is a religious ideal. Instead I look at the argument by Lewis that there must be something wrong with our sexual natures and then extend the logic a following step.
Let me
be frank, sex is a wonderful pleasurable experience. To quote Maude from the film The Big Lebowski “It (sex) can
be a natural, zesty enterprise. But
unfortunately there are some people – it is called satyriasis in men,
nymphomania in women – who engage in it compulsively and without joy.”
be frank, sex is a wonderful pleasurable experience. To quote Maude from the film The Big Lebowski “It (sex) can
be a natural, zesty enterprise. But
unfortunately there are some people – it is called satyriasis in men,
nymphomania in women – who engage in it compulsively and without joy.”
I do not argue argue that a man who merely sleeps
around suffers from satyriasis, this is an assessment best left to psychiatric
professionals. I would argue however
that just because sex is natural does not mean one should indulge oneself
beyond what is right and good. Sex is natural, and it is good. The question at hand is whether there is an overindulgence in it and if that can even be recognized.
around suffers from satyriasis, this is an assessment best left to psychiatric
professionals. I would argue however
that just because sex is natural does not mean one should indulge oneself
beyond what is right and good. Sex is natural, and it is good. The question at hand is whether there is an overindulgence in it and if that can even be recognized.
C.S.
Lewis put it another way in his great work MereChristianity. Think of sex like
appetite, indeed most of us have a sexual appetite. Lewis’s argument goes on like this, if a man
is hungry he eats food, and if that man is left without a check on his appetite
for food he may overeat. If this man
overeats he will more than likely eat only a bit too much say no more than 2 or
three peoples’ servings, but to eat 10 peoples’ worth of serving would be
considered ludicrous and indeed gluttonous.
Lewis continues to argue that in regard to sex, it is a natural event. How could sex not be natural, it is at its
most basic our means of reproduction.
Yet if a man were to indulge his sexual urges whenever they struck as is
the case in sleeping with every woman in 100 miles, he would as Lewis put it have
potential to populate a whole village.
Lewis put it another way in his great work MereChristianity. Think of sex like
appetite, indeed most of us have a sexual appetite. Lewis’s argument goes on like this, if a man
is hungry he eats food, and if that man is left without a check on his appetite
for food he may overeat. If this man
overeats he will more than likely eat only a bit too much say no more than 2 or
three peoples’ servings, but to eat 10 peoples’ worth of serving would be
considered ludicrous and indeed gluttonous.
Lewis continues to argue that in regard to sex, it is a natural event. How could sex not be natural, it is at its
most basic our means of reproduction.
Yet if a man were to indulge his sexual urges whenever they struck as is
the case in sleeping with every woman in 100 miles, he would as Lewis put it have
potential to populate a whole village.
Of
course in our modern times we no longer have sexual intercourse just to ‘breed’. We live in times of condoms, contraceptives,
and abortions. We have taken away the
meaning of sex and replaced it with only the thrill of it. And why not?
Sex is enjoyable after all, and we know how to prevent its consequences
so what exactly is stopping us from enjoying it? Well nothing is really.
course in our modern times we no longer have sexual intercourse just to ‘breed’. We live in times of condoms, contraceptives,
and abortions. We have taken away the
meaning of sex and replaced it with only the thrill of it. And why not?
Sex is enjoyable after all, and we know how to prevent its consequences
so what exactly is stopping us from enjoying it? Well nothing is really.
Lewis’s
argument goes on to discuss the very real phenomenon of strip clubs. In our modern world, we can see the result of
sexual salesmanship nearly everywhere we go.
Strip clubs however are a supreme example because, for the most part, no
sex is actually going on. It is the idea
of sex, it is the amazement that men can stare at a women in all her sexual
provocative natures with nothing more than the imagination of it all.
argument goes on to discuss the very real phenomenon of strip clubs. In our modern world, we can see the result of
sexual salesmanship nearly everywhere we go.
Strip clubs however are a supreme example because, for the most part, no
sex is actually going on. It is the idea
of sex, it is the amazement that men can stare at a women in all her sexual
provocative natures with nothing more than the imagination of it all.
Now imagine
as Lewis put’s it that you would go to a country where people would do this
with food, that men and women, would line up to watch a server lift the cover
to reveal some bacon or a nice velvety cake.
This audience does not eat the food, they merely salivate about it, the titillation
of food in this sense is no different than that of the strip club. If you went to this country you would find it
quite odd, and if you had to hazard a guess you would more than likely assume
that either people in this country were starving, or that they perhaps had a
distorted and indeed perverted sense of food.
as Lewis put’s it that you would go to a country where people would do this
with food, that men and women, would line up to watch a server lift the cover
to reveal some bacon or a nice velvety cake.
This audience does not eat the food, they merely salivate about it, the titillation
of food in this sense is no different than that of the strip club. If you went to this country you would find it
quite odd, and if you had to hazard a guess you would more than likely assume
that either people in this country were starving, or that they perhaps had a
distorted and indeed perverted sense of food.
Sex is
like this, indeed there are men, and women who are starving for sexual
intercourse, for love, for companionship.
But one can hardly argue that our culture has a starvation of sex, we
use it everywhere. We as a society make sex
easy. I have already mentioned the rampant
use of contraceptives within our culture; we have removed the primary purpose. Likewise a man who fornicates rampantly has in himself a perversion of his sexual nature as he clearly isn’t starving for sex.
like this, indeed there are men, and women who are starving for sexual
intercourse, for love, for companionship.
But one can hardly argue that our culture has a starvation of sex, we
use it everywhere. We as a society make sex
easy. I have already mentioned the rampant
use of contraceptives within our culture; we have removed the primary purpose. Likewise a man who fornicates rampantly has in himself a perversion of his sexual nature as he clearly isn’t starving for sex.
Our sexual nature has become perverse. Therefore a man who over-indulges himself
sexually is in fact becoming a perversion of a man. This man does not act as an adult rather he acts
as a child, indulging himself at every turn without regard neither for the
people he sleeps with, nor does he consider anything beyond his simple pleasures. Regardless, a person who sleeps around has
revealed a lot about their personal character and their personal weaknesses.
sexually is in fact becoming a perversion of a man. This man does not act as an adult rather he acts
as a child, indulging himself at every turn without regard neither for the
people he sleeps with, nor does he consider anything beyond his simple pleasures. Regardless, a person who sleeps around has
revealed a lot about their personal character and their personal weaknesses.
